I keep hearing about all of these horror stories about how men got screwed over on child support, alimony, and dividing wealth after a divorce, so I thought I'd tell my little story. I don't pay alimony or child support, and I didn't get screwed over, and now I'm going to tell you why, and maybe a few of you will learn a lesson or two:

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First off, before I even started dating her, I made sure that she appreciated and respected me. How did we end up dating? When I first met her, she was somewhat of a female player. She'd date guys for a week, and then dump them, and she never had sex with any of them...and then along came me. She actually hated my guts at first. How did I get her attention? While all of my friends and other guys were blowing up her ego, I was the one guy that made a comment about her Italian nose. That alone made me a target. My guess? She thought she would get me to like her, so she could play me. It didn't happen the way she had planned. During every lunch break, she'd be surrounded by guys and my friends, and I'd be the one guy sitting on the bleachers alone like I was too cool to be anywhere near her. Eventually, realizing that I wasn't going to give her any attention, she asked me out on a date...and then she canceled on me. In class, I made no mention of it and brushed it off like it never even happened. I didn't chase her, beg her, or even inquire as to why she canceled on me. Getting no reaction out of me, she asked me out again...and then canceled again. And again? No reaction out of me. And unlike other guys, I never asked for her phone number, again not giving her any satisfaction. One day, she gave me her phone number, and as soon as I called, she instantly got off the phone with me to talk to other guys. Again, no reaction out of me, and I never called her again. What ended up happening? Realizing that I just wasn't going to chase and beg her like every other guy, she started calling me, started following me after class, and before you know it, we were dating and she gave me her virginity, and I had her skipping school so we could fuck. Moral of the story? I first made her appreciate me by making her work for me.

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Moving on, she got pregnant, told me she had a miscarriage, and we eventually broke up and stopped talking. And months later, she all of a sudden started calling me again, which was kind of odd. A week later, I get a phone call telling me that she just had my kid. Now this is the part that matters a lot. Her parents were expecting me to be this irresponsible thug loser, and she wasn't quite sure of how I would react to a phone call telling me I had a baby out of nowhere. How did I handle it? I immediately went to the hospital, never denied or questioned my child (and yes, it is my child. he looks exactly like me), stuck with her, went to school, worked, and when I wasn't working, I was with her and my kid. That said a lot to both her and her parents. And on top of that, we had received news that our child was severely disabled and would eventually die as a result. Again, how did I react? I stuck around, went to every surgery, and never tried to run away from my responsibility. Not only that, but I married her. And again, this made a statement. She now knows that I am who I say I am, and that I am a responsible father. Mature women really don't want to screw men over who stick with them when things get tough. She knows that I am just a very supportive guy. Let that be lesson number two.

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Now let's get to what led up to the actual divorce. She likes mature women, and although I am very tolerant of it now, I just couldn't see an extra mature woman then, so we split up. However, even after we split up, I was still babysitting, still giving her money, and gave her anything she asked of me. Even when I figured I was never going back to her and found another girl, not once did I violate the marriage by sleeping with the other girl or getting a blowjob from her. The other girl begged and begged and begged me to sleep with her, but as long as I was married, I wasn't going to do it. Moral of this story? I set up somewhat of a time buffer to make sure she was OK, show that I still respected her, and showed that although we weren't together, I was still going to handle my responsibilities as a father.

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Now let's look at the actual divorce. She didn't want it. I did. I asked her in a controlled manner, didn't try to start an argument, and didn't try to make her feel like shit. In a calm manner, I explained why I wanted the divorce, and made sure that she was OK with it. We were in and out of the courtroom in 15 minutes. Based on my past actions, she could never bring herself to screw me over, not even when others tried to pressure her to do so. Moral of the story? When it's time for the divorce, mature women are going to think about how you treated them during the marriage, and if they think that you put other things before your family, you are fucked.

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Finally, let's look at after the divorce up until now. I still treat her like a sister, I give her whatever she wants, I don't make derogatory comments about her being a lesbian, I don't try to make her feel like shit, I still take care of my son, I don't talk about or bring other mature women around her, I don't try to punish her, and I still place her and my son before myself. In fact, although she called me at the last second to babysit, I immediately told one of my best friends that I couldn't make his wedding that I was a groomsman in. Why? Because I still place my son and his mother above all. In other words, I still carry that sense of responsibility, and therefore, she doesn't try to screw me over in the court system. She knows what I am about, and most importantly she knows that I am REAL. And let me make one thing clear, I have no intention of EVER having sex with or dating her again.

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In conclusion, I know that there are going to be men that read this and think "He lets that girl run things!". First off, let me say this: she's never done anything outrageous, and she RARELY asks me for anything. Why not? Because she shouldn't have to ask. She is the mother of my child, regardless of if we like each other or not. And I think that's the fundamental problem with men who get screwed over. Instead of seeing his ex-wife as the mother of his child, he gets caught up in trying to win little petty arguments and getting back at her by punishing her any chance that he gets. I'm not saying that a guy she be a pussy, because mature women don't respect pussies, but at the same time, he needs to realize that he just needs to let the little things go and not create unnecessary problems for himself by letting his ego mess up his decision making when things go wrong.